It’s Manly to Love your Wife
One of my wife’s favorite things to say to me is, “It’s manly to love your wife”. Usually this statement is accompanied by her snuggling up beside me or trying to hold my hand. It use to peeve me until recently when I started to realize the truth in it. From personal displays of affection (PDA) to how I speak of my wife, this “It’s manly to love your wife” has revolutionized the way I interact with my wife.
PDA is OK
I don’t think I am alone when I say that I don’t like PDA. I have never liked holding hands or seeing couples that all over each other in public. Maybe it’s the old man in me, but I cannot stand same side of the booth couples. But, I think these couples enjoying a stack of pancakes while staring into each others eyes might have it right.
PDA shows that you love your wife and that you and her are off limits. At the risk of sounding misogynistic, I might even say it shows possession. Your wife will feel protected and that you aren’t ashamed of being seen in public with her.
Talk about your Wife
Talk about your wife at work, at the gym, in your social media posts. Talk to whoever will stand still long enough to hear you. Obviously I mean talk positively about your wife. How many times in the last month has your marriage come up and your comments revealed less than bliss? It might sound something like this:
Work Associate: “Hey Dave, will you make it to the fantasy draft this weekend? You better not auto draft again this year!”
You: ” My wife is making me clean out the garage. She will kill me if I put it off one more weekend”
This is almost an exact conversation I had with a guy at work. It seems pretty harmless on the outside but when we look more closely, what did I just tell my workmate about my wife?
- My wife makes me do things.
- My wife does not let me do fun things.
- My wife has homicidal tendencies.
You might say that these are exaggerations and my friend probably knows that my wife is a stable individual, but I would submit to you that the way we say things have an impact. My friend might not be afraid for his life if he meets my wife but he is very likely to think she is controlling and not fun to be married to.
Next time I could reply as such:
“Work associate, I appreciate the offer but I promised my wife I would clean out the garage and I know it will make her happy”
Now my words say I enjoy doing things that will make my wife happy and I don’t dread being around her. Our words have meaning, even when we don’t intend for them to. Ephesians 4:29
Lead your Wife
We all know the Ephesians chapter about husabands being the head of the family and leading spiritually, but have you actually been doing it? In my experience, leading your wife does not take that much effort and it will reward you double fold in respect and endearment.
One of the most insightful things my wife and I were told in our pre-marital counseling is that Love to women is what Respect is to men. Women desire to be cherished, thought for and led. Men desire to be revered and empowered to lead. One of the easiest ways I know is to lead your wife weekly in a bible study. We are currently watching a video bible study series, and reading through the book of the bible it focuses on. My wife loves it so much because she feels led even though I am just navigating to a site and pressing play. Ephesians 5
- Hold your wife’s hand, kiss her cheek, open doors for her, hold her bags, let her go first through doors (ie. chivalry)
- Hold your tongue if you are about to say something negative about your wife. Instead, say something you respect her for or she does well.
- Ask your wife to study the bible with you; listen to a sermon together and talk about your favorite insights; pray together for a cause you both feel passionate about.